When I started coaching 18 years ago I was surprised to find that, regardless of the nature of the coaching engagement, I was teaching people how to integrate coaching approaches into their day-to-day interactions. It wasn’t intentional; it just made sense.
The challenges that my clients faced, such as providing difficult feedback, inviting colleagues to embrace a different perspective or sharing a compelling possibility with a larger audience, were more quickly and easily resolved when my clients took a coaching approach to these situations. That is, when they focused on creating insight for others, rather than telling them what to do. These managers were not acting as “full fledged” coaches, setting goals and holding people accountable, they were simply using coaching approaches to create insight and move situations into effective action more quickly.
What was really interesting was how very small changes made such a huge difference. Asking a question instead of giving the answer created unexpected openings. Getting curious about how someone viewed a situation and starting the conversation from there, rather than arguing one’s point, became the foundation for more collaborative relationships. In retrospect I recognized theses as Coaching Moments – times when taking a different approach changed the trajectory of situation, often in significant ways. When people wove coaching approaches into their day-to-day interactions potentially contentious exchanges turned into opportunities for people to learn with and from each other.
What was even more fascinating was how shifting to a coaching perspective changed everything – the people, the situation, their relationships, their willingness to take on new challenges. People became more engaged and change happened more quickly and smoothly. It was exciting to see!


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